Music and Mourning Balls….

Music and Mourning Balls….

I’ve been putting off writing a blog post until I was in the mood…not that I don’t have anything to say, I usually have “too much”! It’s that I guess what I write on here is often heavily filtered, quick and snappy, mostly music (or dog!) related, as I don’t want to bore you to death or come across as ‘woe is me’! Plus I have a slight issue with accepting that people may be interested in knowing what’s in my headspace; perhaps they are, perhaps they aren’t.

There’s only a few people who get to hear the whole story, and to be honest I think sometimes they would probably prefer that I offload it all on a blog rather than to them all the time! So, perhaps that’s what I should do! It seems like everyone left, right and centre writes uncensored opinions on blogs and online nowadays, not really caring how extreme, controversial or perhaps mundane their viewpoint. Freedom of speech is a great thing for the most part, until it turns into trolling, cyber bullying and a vicious arena where people feel they can be severe and cutting behind the ‘safety’ of a computer screen, more so than they would dare to be to your actual face.

In any case. I feel like writing, so I’ll write!

I feel a lot differently towards music than I did a few years ago. I’m really happy to an extent it literally consumed me and I had the experience of bashing about the London scene, but for now I am happier to focus on song writing. That’s not to say I will never perform with a band again, but for the time being unless there is a special performance required or mass movement on a track gaining momentum on radio for example, a live video or I have a massive desire to, it’s not happening for now. Now that I’ve said that I’ll probably end up forming a 20 piece band and booking a tour…that’s so what I’m like! I do my own head in! Lol. You do have to weigh up the effort versus outcome though, and think rationally.

For me (and I believe for every Artist and Band), GREAT SONGS should form the firm foundation of your rasion d’etre. I’m still seriously in love with lyrics and melody, in fact lyrics and melodies are up there with my favourite things in the whole world. Literally. I just want to get better and connect with more people. I was never seeking fame, but to be able to make a living as an Independent Artist your music does need to be widely appreciated, used and downloaded (paid downloads :P) at the very least.

Music has been more of a personal calling, and I was not actively pursuing a record deal. Of course we all contemplate the idea, but talk about it as a ‘notion’ that has such a small chance of happening (with a Major in any case) that you don’t entertain the idea seriously any way. Yes, a cool Indie Label who would take me ‘under their wing’ would be great, but that hasn’t happened (and / or I haven’t really pursued that either). I do think it’s mainly down to me though, it seems like I kinda like to be a little *diamond in the rough, a hidden gem. (*Please note that I am not a big-headed twat, but I’m just trying to say that I do what I do, and if someone comes across a track of mine they like amongst all the noise, then that’s cool! I’m their diamond in the rough!). So, you can’t have it every way, and sometimes people are the biggest obstacles in their own destiny.

It’s funny (well…), the Producer I work with just always takes everything I say in terms of “This is my last EP / Single / Album etc”…with a pinch of salt! I always get myself worked up, doubt it all, get frustrated (oh yes, that whole frustrated musician thing hits us all), then wonder what is the point?! So I moan and then a few weeks later I have another set of songs demoed for a further EP! It’s head-wrecking. Being Artistic is an amazing gift and a privilege,  but it’s still internally head-wrecking. That’s also part of the reason I don’t often ‘open up’ in blog posts, as I’d probably just appear as a moaning, whining, annoyance….we’ll see, I certainly can be!

I think you get to a point when you’re an original Artist, where you have to work out how your music fits into your life, what you truly want to achieve and how much you are prepared to ‘sacrifice’ in order to achieve it. I think the same could be said for most things in life. We’re all here together, we all have our personal journeys and decisions to make, and I don’t think there’s a single ‘Eureka moment’ when we have it all figured out. I used to think that there was, but after years of thinking that way…I’m now not so sure, as it hasn’t happened to me! Life isn’t here to be put into boxes, ticked and checked. Yes, there are life stages, we all grow older and there are conventions that the majority of us go along with, providing a sense of achievement and purpose, but sometimes this need to conform can be at the expense of our own personal happiness and fulfilment. I like most people, am just trying to figure out that balance.

Some news is that there will be another Single release this year “The Future is Purple”, which actually addresses many of the points I mentioned above, a further Single release after that (which I have been told by a couple of people who have heard me play it, is the catchiest yet!) and then….wait for it….an EP!!!! After that I’m stopping. Joke….I told you, annoying right? Seriously, after that I don’t know what’s next! I’m sure there will be more releases though, don’t worry?!

I hope you enjoyed the most recent Single “YOLO”, if you haven’t heard it yet please have a listen below and buy the track for a mere 50p here:

+++ Ah, the reason this blog post is entitled “Music and Mourning Balls” is because well, the music part is obvious, but my dog was neutered a couple of days ago and both of us are mourning his testicles. Poor thing.+++

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